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May 2014

What Happened?

Holding tears back,
I walk into the school,
sadness overpowering me.
As hard as it is,
I know I have to move on.
Rooted to the ground next to my locker,
I ask myself,
what happened?

Taking my head out of my locker,
I walk into class.
Chaos at first,
then complete silence as I take a step in.
I hear the same question,
filling my head with frustration.
Over and over again, please tell me,
what happened?

The teacher calls on me,
I’m confused,
lost in a world I never thought existed.
My name echoes throughout the room.
I come back to reality.
I’m sitting down,
a chewed up pencil in my hand.
I don’t know what to do.
Once again, the annoying question,
what happened?

I can’t take it anymore.
I jump up,
and startle my class.
I want to run away,
but I don’t think I’ll ever be free of the sadness inside.
I yell out loud,
and realize it feels good to let my anger out.
I break into tears at the mere thought of anything ever feeling good again,
and I fall to the ground.
You’ll never know,
you’ll never know how it feels,
to lose someone so close to your heart.
So much worry, so much sorrow.
My teacher scolds me for being such a fool, a weak little girl,
but she’ll never know,
she’ll never know,
why I’m so sad.
She’ll never know,
what happened.

My mom comes to tell me,
that it’ll all be fine.
How can she say that?
Because nothing will ever be fine, ever again.
I have a hazy memory of what happened,
but I don’t want to forget.
If I forget,
my life will be a lie.
All the happy, cheerful smiles,
those are all lies.
I have no right to be happy,
no right to smile.
Not after all that’s happened so far.
I just don’t want to explain,
what happened.

I’ll live my life in sorrow,
but I will never forget.
I’ll drown in my own tears,
but I will never dare to smile.
Quit asking me what happened,
because I will never know myself.

© 2014 Sara T.
Sartartia Middle School
Sugar Land, TX
Grade 6

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